Too Late.... Never

'Love is life’ they say it right
Agitated & ruthless he searches for a sight
A shadow that is behind him all the time
Persistent like in all battles,
He is sure to find….

Hiding in dark, those beautiful eyes
Glittering with pride, waiting worthwhile
For whom she argued with world, her protector
He is the one, her heart tells her


Agony & Pain clear in his eyes
Fighter, he is, ready to pay the price
Like a light a thought strikes
Standstill he smiles and closes his eyes
Joy in her eyes turn into confusion
Why is he smiling? Or is it her hallucination?
Her secret cant be out, she is sure
Then what made him look so self assured


Her beautiful voice murmuring chants
Feeling her near, he opens his hands
Pain takes over him, and he can’t stand anymore
‘Where are you Luv?’ Words coming out from him no-more
Witty as she is, wants to play some more
‘He is a warrior; he can’t give up so soon’


But then, there he is so tired and beaten
I have to come out, come out of my cocoon
‘She can’t be far, but why then I can’t see her?’
‘Oh God, why is it so hard to live without her’
‘Life can’t be so cruel, so why is this pain so hard to bear?’
‘My ray of hope is nowhere, and there is just darkness everywhere?’


‘Oh my luv, I am here’
‘Open your eyes and you will see me everywhere’
‘Why is he not opening his eyes, he can hear me no more?’
‘Oh, why is this game of luv not a game anymore’


A flash of light so bright, & there is sound of bell
Is this heaven or way to the hell?
Yes, this is the place I belong
Everything is here, Then why didn’t she come along?


She holds him, like sand in hand
He can't leave, this doesn't make any sense
Moments ago he was standing in front of her
She was coming to him, bits remained there
and now...."Too Late" has turned to "Never"

Experience

Its such a strange world... our daily life makes us feel everything is usual around us... life, maynot be too easy, but is going at a good pace. You feel you have just enuf reasons to survive and be happy and then suddenly you see other side of coin, a side which is not so monotonous, each day is different from other.. sun rises with new challenges, and ends on with a learning.Last few days have been totally different experience for me... EXPERIENCE, yes that is the right word to describe what all I felt. Sometimes, a small incident teaches u so much... World, people and life still makes me wonder
I was walking back home from office one evening, and the weather was so beautiful, I decided to sit on a bench outside my office for sometime to enjoy cool breeze... So here I was sitting and enjoying the wonders of nature - trees dancing on the tune of winds, birds complaining drizzle. Everyone who passed me by was enjoying the weather, but unfortunately not as lucky as me and could not sit and enjoy the view for some more time :), except one girl. I saw her coming in my direction from far and she was walking unsteadily. Something about her made me keep looking. I noticed, she was very pretty with curly hair ( first person i found looking pretty with curls)... but her eyes, they were odd... as she came closer, i realized i was right, there was something very odd about her eyes, they were swelled. Well, before I started scruitinizing her more, she came and sat beside me. I tried to move my concentration back to the wonderful weather, but I just couldnt get my mind off her. All I was thinking, why are her eyes so swelled, has she been crying all night, or maybe she was in night shift and lack of sleep or maybe poor girl was sick.
So, here I was, debating inside with what could be the problem with this beautiful person, forgetting myself for a moment. Before I could make up my mind on what could be the problem and get off it my head, I saw her lit a cigratte. She started taking puffs, and as I am alergic to smell, I couldnt bear the smell. I politly asked her to put off the smoke, as I could not bear the smell. She looked at me and with tumbling voice asked me to move away if I had problem.All of a sudden my sympathies turned into hatred, and I decided I shouldnt bother about this girl and should go back to my weather which by that time felt so left alone without my notice that it became dull.
But, I didnt move from my place, i dont know why... After sometime, she threw away her cigratte, and said sorry and stood up to leave. With that one act, she all of a sudden became my friend and I couldnt stop myself from asking why does she smoke? Teacher's blood inside me started a lecture with hazardeous effects of it. She listened to me patiently and then said, sometimes you know what you are doing is wrong, but it provides you a moment of bliss and at times that one moment means lot more than entire life.
I was confused, how could a puff makes such a big difference in somebody;s life. I mean look at me, if i smoke i dont know about bliss, but i will get asthama for sure...Anyways, I realized I was crossing my line, just to continue the conversation( I was in no hurry to go home), I asked her where she works and words between her and me started flowing. After 15-20 mins, my anxiety to know about her eyes outshadowed any other topic, and i decided to cross the line and ask, rather than thinking whole day about it. So, no matter how prudent it sounded, I asked her, why her eyes were swelling?
She looked at me, totally shocked, and kept staring. That was one moment, I wont forget, I was scared- no, I was embarrrased for prying-maybe, but the question was out of my head, and i was feeling much lighter.After a couple of minutes, she asked me how old am I? and I was totally unprepared for that question, I mean cmon what has my age to do with her swollen eyesBut, just to make her feel more comfortable, I answered I am 24. She asked " You are young, do you have a boy-friend?". Now cmon, definitely the answer to that question would not affect her eyes, I was damn sure. So I asked her why is she asking these questions.She smiled, and said " Either you dont have one or you are one of the rare girls whose boy-friend cares" Definitely, either ways, I am the lucky one, but again, I had so many questions on my face, she decided not to increase them and answered my original question
"When you truely love someone, you give him your heart and soul and you expect the same in return. More than often, you are disappointed. If you are lucky, you would come to know in early stages of your life, but there are people like me, who come to know about it just when its too late"
Now cmon, I am among those people who believe no-one can push you to a moment where you lose control of yourself, so how can someone not loving you back can make you so weak.I told her the same, and she smiled at me, and agreed, but her next few lines blew me out. All she said was " I am married to him, and I realized it after marrying him :) So here I am, carrying out a relation which means everything to me and nothing to him. I love him from heart and soul and nothing of me makes him love me. He is that perfect stranger to me whom even after having, I cant say is mine"
I was speechless. All that came in mind was this line I ones read
" Worst kind of loneliness is to be sitting next to the person and knowing he/she can never be yours"
She just walked away, and I didnt know what to say. I still didnt got the answer I had asked at first, but it didnt matter anymore...I dont know her name, I dont know exact location of her office, I am not even sure if I ever will meet her, but yes, I learnt something today, something I cant describe in words, but for sure would remain with me forever as an experience...

Shreevatsa- an orphanage from eyes of my friend Srija

To give you all a little background, SOFOSH or Soceity of Friends of Sasoon Hospital is a NGO which has an arm "Shreevatsa" where abandoned infants are brought and raised till the age of 6 ( they are adopted by that age). Special kids are also raised in this beautiful home. I recently went to this place with two of my collogues- Srija & Shraddha. We all were deeply affected and my friend Srija penned her experience as below:
Was I visiting an orphanage for the first time? No. Was I involved with charity for the first time? No. Yet, there was excitement…an unexplained happiness at the mere thought of visiting an orphanage to donate clothes and other accessories collected from our office. As pre-decided, Ankita, Shraddha and I reached SOFOSH at 11 in the morning. After completing the formalities, we moved to Sreevatsa where children from 0 to 6 yrs are housed. I knew I was stepping into a different world the moment I crossed the gate to enter into the premises of Sreevatsa. Soon, my ears were filled with sounds of infants crying, toddlers screaming, kids laughing…some vying for attention while still some conveying they either wanted to play or are hungry.

It was a busy hour. It was time for lunch. The mothers’ (that’s how the caretakers are addressed) were busy feeding infants in the age group of 3 to 6 months. While some gobbled down the food hungrily, some were savouring it and yes! There were a few who put up a hard fight to not let the food enter their mouth.

The In-Charge welcomed us with a broad smile, and after accepting the ‘gifts’ we brought for the kids she took us around showing us the kitchen where all the meals are prepared and have to pass quality test everyday. She then took us to a section where kids from 0 to 6 months are cared for, and to where outsiders are not allowed in, lest they may pass on any infection on to kids. So, we stood at the threshold and watched them play, turn to their sides, and then all of a sudden a kid looked at us and gave a wide toothless smile and then he gave another. I am sure there’s no need to mention that this lit up not only mine but my colleagues’ face too.

We were transfixed until the words of the In-Charge requesting us to move on to the next section (housing 6 months to 1 year olds) brought us back to the real world. But that was only for a few fleeting seconds. Soon we were transcended to the beautiful world yet again. At the entrance of the section we were greeted by a year old boy who was enjoying his act of pulling out clothes from the almirah. And then our attention was caught by a high-pitch cry of a baby lying in the cradle. A mother deftly making her way through cradles and kids playing on the floor, holding a tray filled with cap full of different colored medicines, administering them to the kids who required it, mentioned the baby had constipation. And I realized that along with the medicine what the baby required to ease the pain was human touch – For, the moment Shraddha held the baby in her arms she stopped crying. The baby named Kanishka was a special child.

My attention was drawn towards another baby who lay in the cradle quiet. She too was a special child. And, somehow I had this feeling she was enjoying the attention I was giving her. Ankita too was drawn towards this kid. Soon the kid was in the arms of Ankita, enjoying the cozy comfort of her arms. But she broke into cry the moment Ankita lay her back in the cradle. Those few moments made me realize how badly these kids yearned for human touch! Yes they do, because every mother out there has to take care of four kids.

Sure, it’s a different world - a world, which I would like to visit again – to help these little angels.